Welcome to His Way Out Ministries

November 2007 Highlights

Unpacking "The Dad Factor" by Pastor Phillip Lee

My story is not unique. Regrettably, my parents divorced when I was around three years old. Born in a very rural farm area in the north eastern corner of Arkansas, even today, many would describe the surroundings as a classic Norman Rockwell painting. Over these many years, I have occasionally made it back to the farm in Arkansas with each and every visit bringing a blend of both warmth and regret. The warmth comes from the scenic environment, remembering Grandma whipping up another blueberry cobbler from scratch and humming a tune which accompanied each and every ingredient poured into the mouth watering mixture, going crawdad fishing in the pouring rain, sitting on Grandpa's lap as we drove around the farm on a tractor again, and again, and again, and Dad, who always seemed much larger than life. Certainly, the regret surfaces in remembering that I did not have the opportunity to be equally raised by both Dad and Mom. Undeniably, for better or worse, we are all significantly shaped by the kind of family life we experienced. Often, very often, the deepest wounds in a man's life are not physical. If Dad is not present in the formative years of a young boy, which creates a void, a vacuum, a deficit, even in our adulthood years our soul will continue to crave the best from Dad.

I have come to understand that until a man unpacks and deals with the themes, pain, and addresses the unfinished business that still may remain in life - he can never be an authentic man. In other words, you cannot change what you are unwilling to visit or address nor can you change what you don't understand.

I don't believe it's a stretch to say that we all have unresolved issues in our lives. However, for a boy growing up without the monumentally important deposits of Dad, an uphill battle is created because no boy can become a real man without help. Frankly, there's just no such thing as a self-made man. The deficit in a boy's life which would ordinarily be met in a healthy relationship with Dad must now be overcome by other means. And, that's where the many twists, turns and "Oh, my gosh, how did I get here?" pitfalls of life unfold. As one journeys through life seeking answers and resolution to times of intense anger, pain, extreme behaviors, obsessions, and addictions, to "feel good" can become a narcotic.

Today, many men struggle with their identity, sexuality, and gender. Some of the struggle has to do with society, family dynamics and some of it has to do with Dad. The bottom line - Dad's presence in the home can greatly influence a boy's masculinity or femininity. How well I remember to this day, after my parents splitting and my mother taking me to Michigan to begin a new life apart from Dad, my whole world became consumed by the influence of the female gender. Each day, every day, I was influenced by the feminine persuasion in some way or another which ultimately impacted my very young life in ways that I would not understand for years to come. Now, in all fairness, my upbringing was solid and nurturing in ways that many a boy would welcome. Thank God for a mother that over and over again put me first before herself.

However, the absent Dad factor will always enable and result in unfinished business. At the age of fifty-seven, I find myself thinking about Dad more and more. With my being in California and him still in Arkansas, distance keeps us from being around one another. However, distance never prohibits or prevents those hidden places in the heart from becoming traveled, embraced and fulfilled.

I have often heard that our human relationships can often be a mirror of how our relationship is with God the Father. For too long I thought my Dad really didn't care much about me. How wrong I was. Even the tragic circumstances of life can do their utmost to consume resulting in a wounded heart. A wounded heart will search and search until it finds peace, rest and clarity. My last trip to see Dad was just about three years ago. The journey from California to Arkansas is always a bit of a challenge in that the flight schedule is a departure from Bakersfield, CA with an ultimate arrival in Memphis, TN, followed by renting a car and making a two-hour drive to Marmaduke, AR. I know, I know! Is there anything more wonderful and heartwarming than going home? My drive is always marked by miles and miles of farm land, crossing several bridges, and ultimately making a stop at a Stuckey's only to hear that wonderful Southern drawl that always accompanies "Ya'll come back now!" Shortly after arriving, my stepmother told me that my Dad had spent several hours sitting on the front porch looking for and anticipating my arrival. Even the bitter cold did not prevent him from looking down the road hoping to catch a glimpse of me pulling into the driveway. I have pictured that scene numerous times in my mind. It warms my heart each and every time.

Always, the time with Dad flies by. Each moment is cherished and I always find myself watching every move he makes. Wherever he goes, whatever he is going to do, I want to be there. Whether that involves going to the store, going to feed the cattle, or popping in to see his pastor. It really doesn't matter. It's time with Dad. Not surprising - the glory of the son is with his Father.

My departure day back to California finally arrived. All day long I wondered how our "good-bye" would go. Would there be an embrace? Would there be words of love and affirmation? Or, would that which is often unspoken say it all?

Standing on the landing waiting for the train which was fast approaching, I gave my stepmother a hug and then looked over at Dad. As he stood there with his usual, customary posture (hands in his overalls), I said "Bye Dad, I love you." To my delight, his hands came out of his pockets and became outstretched to me. At the age of fifty-five, I received, for the first time in my life, an embrace that completely melted my heart. In a flash, I knew we were OK and the many years of questioning the past didn't seem to matter any longer. Through my Dad, God the Father demonstrated and reminded me that some of the deepest wounds in a man's life are not physical.

Indeed, the seasons in a man's life are often marked by challenges, victories, defeats, growing pains, and a flood of memories. Admittedly, some are to be more cherished than others. However, the power of Dad can never, never be underestimated.

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries..."Happy Thanksgiving!"

His Way Out Ministries is a world-wide interdenominational, Christian ministry called to encourage, strengthen, unify and equip Christians to minister the transforming power of the Lord Jesus Christ to those affected by homosexuality. To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers...we remain truly grateful.

Prayerfully Yours,

Pastor Phillip Lee

Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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We Need Your Support!

Through your donations, God enables us to minister Christ's healing to the sexually broken around the world. All of us at His Way Out Ministries remember that God has provided financially for the needs of this ministry and a growing staff for more than thirteen years, and we thank Him for it. We rely on your help, and pray God will keep His Way Out Ministries on your heart. Thank you for your faithfulness, especially during the lean summer months.

You can send a offering to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)

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With Sincere Thanks and Appreciation...

Recently, His Way Out Ministries has been invited by several churches and universities to share the message of healing and deliverance from same-gender attraction in Christ Jesus. Therefore, we would like to express our appreciation and gratitude to:

Canyon Hills Assembly of God (Bakersfield, CA), Azusa Pacific University (Azusa, CA), University Baptist Church (Bakersfield, CA), Southern Baptist Ministers Association (Bakersfield, CA), and Biola University (La Mirada, CA).

For each and every opportunity we remain truly grateful as congregation members and university students expressed their appreciation for our sharing teaching and testimony about a God who delivers from homosexuality.

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Reaching Gay Youth by Darren Thompson

In my experience, the ones who I have known who have successfully left homosexuality are those who have relinquished complete control of their lives to the Holy Spirit. The person becomes a lover of God and becomes focused on building His Kingdom and destroying the works of the evil one. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing. For anyone to maintain or achieve any level of purity he must begin and cultivate a close communion with the Lord. Truly, self-control is a fruit of walking with the Spirit. Likewise, we will not satisfy the desires of the flesh if we walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16). Only God can bring about the changes the youth desires. Teach the youth how to remain focused on the Lord throughout the day. Praying and worshipping in the beginning and throughout the day, reading God's Word while maintaining fellowship with the Body of Christ will all help bring about victory.

While I have met many gay youth who are determined to resolve the issues of their sexuality, most feel too inadequate or lack motivation to join a church or begin relating in a healthy manner with others of the same-sex. It is up to Christians to share the message that salvation and sexual redemption are possible through the Lord Jesus Christ and invite them into their lives and bring them into the Church. Any Christian can emphasize to the hurting that there is a hidden need within the heart of everyone that an intimate relationship with God can fill. Reaching gay youth is something we call can do and must do to help searching youth understand God's abundant plans for their lives and to counteract the pro-gay agenda that desires to ruin all hope for the youth. No one is doomed to be gay, and we may be the only person that will have the courage to share the Good News with a youth struggling with same-sex attractions. Gay youth are redeemable! Trust God to do His part while we do our part.

"My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the field! They are ripe for harvest." Jesus Christ

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ONLINE SPECIAL: Phillip Lee LIVE at UBC

On Sunday, October 10, Pastor Phillip Lee spoke to the congregation of University Baptist Church on the subject What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?

You can Listen LIVE to the 6.2 MB, 36min, MP3 at this link.

Give it a few moments to begin downloading and it will play. Windows 95/98 users make sure your Windows Media Player (or other MP3 software) is up to date. Right-click and choose "Save Target As..." to save it on your computer. (If Internet Explorer attempts to save as .mpga you can change it to an .mp3 file type.) You can then play it later or copy it to any MP3 portable player.

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Argument/Answer

Argument: "The Bible is a good book, but its verses are used to clobber gays and lesbians."

Answer: "When conservatives quote Bible verses against homosexuality it's called "clobbering," yet when gays quote Scripture arguing against conservatives, it's just - well, quoting Scripture."

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Coming Up This Month!

November 3rd - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times).

Jesus and Homosexuality will be our topic for teaching and discussion as we continue our series titled "Confronting Pro-Gay Theology: A Balance of Truth and Grace. The argument from silence goes something like this - "If Jesus didn't specifically talk about homosexuality, why should we? If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality...this class/discussion group is for you! L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am. Teaching materials are provided. A breakout session is offered at our L.I.F.E. group meetings for wives whose marriage has been impacted by homosexuality.

November 10th - "TIME OUT" Men's Discipleship Support Group

Confronting Ambivalence
We will define ambivalence and procrastination and look at the possible origins. We will examine some of the reasons for "getting stuck," and we will look at solutions for avoiding or pulling out of that mindset. Time Out meets from 9am to 11am.

November 17th - His Way Out Ministries "Advisory Board Meeting."

November 21 - 23 - His Way Out Ministries office closed for Thanksgiving Holiday.

November 24 - "TIME OUT" Men's Discipleship Support Group

Dealing With Failure
As we continue our journey to personal wholeness, it is inevitable we will make mistakes along the way. We will look again at the role temptation plays, and will seek to understand how our response to sin is the determining factor in growing in Christ. Time Out meets from 9am to 11am.

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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries

  • Ask your pastor to check out this website.

  • Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.

  • Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.

  • Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.

  • Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.

  • Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.

  • Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.

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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"


Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.

This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.

The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.

Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.

We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine

Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov

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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS


AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.

We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.

Canned tuna Canned soups
Canned ravioli Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Jams and jellies Breakfast cereals
Breakfast bars Fruit cocktail
Canned peaches Top Ramen
Cup o' Noodle soups Canned potatoes
Canned corn Macaroni and cheese mixes
Rice 'o Roni type mixes Chili beans
Tomato paste, Tomato sauce Spaghetti sauce
Potted meats Canned stews
Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped Instant oatmeal variety packs
Kleenex Paper towels
Toilet paper Popsicles (not frozen)
Instant breakfast drinks Spaghetti

His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.

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His Way Out Ministries Services

  • Consultations
  • Family Support Group
  • Individual Prayer Ministry
  • "Time Out" Discipleship Series
  • Ministry Support Network
  • Speakers available to address Christian groups
  • "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
  • "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS

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Send a Donation to His Way Out

In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.

Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.

His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with Exodus International.

You can donate using PayPal...

Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)

Copyright © His Way Out Ministries

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