Welcome to His Way Out Ministries

February 2007 Highlights

The Inner Vows of Homosexuality By Pastor Phillip Lee

Recently, during one of our men's discipleship group meetings, we began talking about "vows" people make and more specifically, how vows relate and contribute to a man or woman having an issue of same-gender attraction. As a result, the discussion caused me to dig a bit further into the subject matter. Ultimately, I could not dismiss the overwhelming evidence of just how much "inner vows" play in contributing to many individuals struggling with various compulsive behaviors and finding them so incredibly difficult to change.

In the dictionary a vow is defined as "a solemn promise or declaration by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition." In Scripture, over and over again we see references to vows and oaths.

"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord. But I tell you, Do not swear at all; either by heaven, for it is God's throne, or by the earth, for it is His footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your Yes be Yes, and your No, No, anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matthew 5:33-37)

How often have I heard, "I have had same-gender attraction for as long as I can remember and I guess I always will." According to John and Paula Sanford in their book Transformation of The Inner Man, "An inner vow is a decision and resolve either to do or not to do a certain activity, event, or to have or not to have a certain attitude or relationship. It is a determination set by the mind and heart into all of one's being usually set early in life, and often forgotten." Personally speaking, I have often found that the attitude in which I face the mountains in life always has a direct and profound bearing on just how long "the mountain" may remain in my life.

While I would never dismiss the intense temptations, feelings, emotions, and, at times, overwhelming tsunami of same-gender attraction, if I, or anyone for that matter, continues to define their identity based on their sexuality (homosexual), it implies the possibility of one's behavior or sexual orientation can never be minimized or changed. In other words, how we label ourselves reveals what is of prime importance in our life. There is finality about labeling oneself. It implies the subject is closed and that a decision has been reached. It is entirely possible for men and women to recover from any number of conditions but they may not recover from an inner vow or labeling of oneself.

How I remember to this day, when I was just a little guy, those that would constantly encourage me to play a variety of sports that I really didn't want to play but did because "that is what little boys did." That sense of reality coupled with the disappointment and down right hurt and shame of generally being the last to be picked for "the team," caused me to make a decision (a vow) that I was never going to play "those stupid games" again. Now, I realize just how my attitude and decision (which really wasn't based in truth it was just a perception on my part), catapulted me down a path that led to years of struggling with self-worth and acceptance. The incredible irony regarding sport activity was that I was pretty dog-gone good at a number of sports. Oh, the inner traps (vows) that causes such heartache, pain and sometimes years of disillusionment and despair. It took me a very long time to realize that I was most definitely a "guy" that just happened to have different interests, gifts and talents that didn't match the abilities, gifts and talents of others. Duh? No gender confusion, just specific gifts God had granted me and placed within me to honor and glorify Him.

It is certainly true that inner vows are sometimes identified by compulsive behavior. At the very moment we became a Christian and knew we had given our heart to Jesus, the reality of a power struggle may have in many cases just begun. Frankly, losing one's life to find it is no easy journey because our old way of doing things and the old way of seeing ourselves dies only with a great deal of pain and over time. The true battle becomes - which will survive, our will or God's will? The resolution of that question often involves coming to terms and dealing with the inner vows of homosexuality that have been falsely embraced as truth and have placed a person under the bitter root of fear, hidden resentment, and self-judgment.

An inner vow embracement, belief and proclamation of "I am gay and will always be gay," can most definitely set the shape of our entire being and character. It is entirely possible for the entire structure of a person's personality to be built around one inner vow. Now here this! There is always much, much more to a person that just their sexuality! However, the owning of one's identity being based on "I'm gay!" can and often does shape the individuals personality for life.

The inner vow of seeing oneself as "always homosexual" must be addressed and ultimately broken. If not broken, the strong possibility exists that the individual will fall to relying upon the power of their flesh to lead the Christian life, to be good, righteous and holy. Freedom, true freedom comes by faith as well recognizing that an inner vow just may have placed us in a position of defeat and not victory.

However, there is great news! Through the repentance of any sinful action that may have caused us to make a vow, we can exercise our authority in Christ and break each and every inner vow. Whether homosexuality or any other deeply ingrained habit or compulsive behavior, breaking the hold vows may have over us is entirely possible. Every Christian has been given the God-given right to cancel any vow made in the past or present.

How does one know if an inner vow is in some way impacting their life, possibly locking them in a battle with same-gender attraction? By asking. Connect with a prayer minister, a ministry, pastor or believer in the Authority of Christ and ask the Holy Spirit to come and search your heart. Anytime a believer in Christ invites the Holy Spirit to come...why wouldn't He? Now, here's a tip. If the Holy Spirit identifies, discloses an "inner vow," know that a "root cause" of behavior (homosexuality, habitual adultery, alcoholism, etc.) has been identified and the Holy Spirit is enabling a key to freedom.

Personally, I have found that God will take me as far as I am willing to go. The path of healing from same-gender attraction comes about only through a genuine and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. The addiction and bondage to homosexuality can be totally broken. I say can be because Jesus has given us free will. The essential first step is wanting Christ and all that He offers. You know, the person that really experiences the most change is the person that has come to realize that he simply has no other place to go.

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries...

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers...we remain truly grateful. His Way Out Ministries is proclaiming to, educating, and impacting the world with the biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus Christ is Lord of your life!

Prayerfully Yours,

Pastor Phillip Lee

Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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What Does Healing From Homosexuality Really Look Like?

Ask yourself this question, "If I were healed of homosexuality today, my life would look like..." In all fairness, healing is an on-going dynamic process and not just a static, closed-end definition.

When talking about healing from homosexuality we must turn our attention to really talking about having a change of desires and behavior. Therefore, beginning Saturday, March 10, 2007, men struggling with same-gender attraction are invited to participate in a discipleship series titled "A Journey to Sexual and Relational Wholeness." The series which begins March 10th and ultimately concludes on December 22, 2007, includes such subject matters as, Masculinity: Given your own personal experiences, how would you describe what it means to be masculine?, Same-Sex Relationships: How has the fear of being hurt or disappointed affected your ability to move toward others in relationship?, Addiction: What triggers do you seen in your life that lure you to your addictive cycle?, Pornography: If you are married, how has this affected your marriage?, Beyond the Ex-Gay Plateau: If I stay in an ex-gay subculture, can I be hindered in developing healthy relationships?

Many men have experienced the benefits of this series and are now walking in freedom from addictions, self-hatred, self-centeredness and gender confusion. There is no fee for the series. However, registration is required and may be completed by calling the His Way Out Ministries office - (661) 589-4262.

Although one need not be a Christian to benefit from the series, a primary goal of the series is to help men discover the loving, powerful presence of God who is there on behalf of their struggle.

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Argument/Answer

Argument: Why would I walk into a church? By in large, the Church has overwhelmingly shown condemnation to gays and not love.

Answer: Yes, to a large extent, you are correct. Admittedly, the Church has been guilty of the harsh way many Christians have promoted biblical principles. However, the problem is not in the fact the Church denounces the practice of homosexuality, but in the cruel ways people have been treated. Yes, the Bible has been misused but, once again, the problem is the misuse of the Bible and not the Bible itself.

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Dear His Way Out Ministries...

Words cannot express our thanks for all the hope you give to us and to so many hurting people. We are so thankful for His Way Out Ministries and keep the ministry in our constant prayers. - Don & Becky

I appreciate and value your counsel which has been deeply rooted in sound biblical principles and the compassion of Christ. - Paul

Thanks again, it was a pleasure to have you in the "controlled chaos" that we call youth ministry. Hey, you connected, so for that, I thank you for being prayerful in preparation and honest in presentation. - Jeff

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His Way Out Ministries NARTH Membership

At a time in our nation's history when the "gay issue" is most intensely debated, NARTH is more important than ever. NARTH (The National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality) is fast becoming an influential force within the psychotherapeutic profession. In addition, NARTH continues to convey accurate information to the media, educators, religious leaders, the general public, and to strugglers themselves. His Way Out Ministries is proud to be affiliated with such a prestigious organization. NARTH was a key influence in defeating the gay lobbyists' attempt to denounce treatment for homosexuality. His Way Out Ministries looks forward to our continued partnership with NARTH with so much more to be accomplished.

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Coming Up This Month!

February 3rd - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times).
If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality, or you would just like to attend and learn about the complexities of homosexuality...this group is for you! L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am.

February 24th - Men's Fellowship Breakfast - 9am to 11am.
This very informal, relaxed gathering is available to all past, present or future participants of Time Out, a discipleship support group series for men struggling with same-gender attraction. Details of the new Time Out Discipleship Series which will begin on March 10, 2007, will be presented and discussed.

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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
  • Ask your pastor to check out this website.

  • Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.

  • Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.

  • Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.

  • Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.

  • Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.

  • Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.

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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.

This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.

The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.

Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.

We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine

Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov

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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.

We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.

Canned tuna Canned soups
Canned ravioli Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Jams and jellies Breakfast cereals
Breakfast bars Fruit cocktail
Canned peaches Top Ramen
Cup o' Noodle soups Canned potatoes
Canned corn Macaroni and cheese mixes
Rice 'o Roni type mixes Chili beans
Tomato paste, Tomato sauce Spaghetti sauce
Potted meats Canned stews
Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped Instant oatmeal variety packs
Kleenex Paper towels
Toilet paper Popsicles (not frozen)
Instant breakfast drinks Spaghetti

His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.

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His Way Out Ministries Services

  • Consultations
  • Family Support Group
  • Individual Prayer Ministry
  • "Time Out" Discipleship Series
  • Ministry Support Network
  • Speakers available to address Christian groups
  • "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
  • "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS

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Send a Donation to His Way Out

In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.

Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.

His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with Exodus International.

You can donate using PayPal...

Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)

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