Welcome to His Way Out Ministries

August 2006 Highlights

Change vs. Mature By Pastor Phillip Lee

Recently, a thought and possibly a change in the way ministry and reaching to those bound by same-gender attraction occurred to me. As a result, a dialog ensued between me and several individuals. The following is offered for consideration and your response would be appreciated.

True change begins in the heart. Certainly, the greatest change any man or woman can experience is to become born-again; to know that your destination has been changed from hell to heaven. For those of us involved in ex-gay ministry and the men and women we are trying to reach with a message of hope in Christ, is it possible that we have placed too much emphasis on "change?" I'm just asking.

Without a doubt, the motivation for change, conviction by our Lord to make a change, "Am I just trying to escape from guilt?" and what exactly does change look like? all factor into the process. Admittedly, true change comes from within. Indeed, we are called to die to our old nature. God does call us to not just manage our problems, but to surrender each and every one of them to Him.

To be sure, change is a process that requires trusting and following God. I recall when I became a Christian at the age of thirty-five (thirty-five years old in body, but spiritually speaking I was one-day old), I had a lot to learn. I still have a lot to learn. Finding one's way after being catapulted into the black and white plains of Christianity is at the very least, unnerving. Becoming aware (Scripturally speaking) that homosexuality is wrong and traversing the numerous contributing factors to the issue of same-gender attraction, does not necessarily point to resolution of the same.

Maybe, just maybe, we are placing too much a load on the man or woman to "change?" Would it possibly be more appropriate, more scripturally solid and correct to give the greater emphasis to "mature" or "the maturing process?" Within Philippians 3:10-15, we find the words "All of us who are mature should take a view of things." It would seem to me that communicating "Come on along with the rest of us Christians, as we all grow up (mature) in the image and things of Christ Jesus, just might offer more hope? Maybe using "mature" versus "Change!" would give the person the cutting edge and allow him or her to at least catch their breath?

I wonder if "change" doesn't often demand an immediate manifestation. "Mature" is progressive, just as holiness is progressive. Have we possibly put far too much on those truly desiring to change while forgetting that discipleship requires maturing?

While we are all walking through the "process" of maturity, there does seem to be an area where the word "change" is not only acceptable - but a must. And that is in the area of how a person comes to think about homosexual practice. While there are many ideas floating around in society regarding same-gender partnerships and experimentation, Scripture would require a "change in the orientation of the thought processes" towards same-gender partnerships and sexual behavior or practice. This change is rooted in an understanding of God's creative order and Divine intent for marriage and sexuality.

A Christian cannot step away from the clear teaching of Genesis 2, later affirmed by Christ in Matthew 19 as it regards the "fruit" or "evidence" of a changed heart in relation to this subject. Any homosexual liaison is a breach of divine purposes. No matter what society or our passions say to the contrary. The only "one flesh" experience God intends and Scripture contemplates is the union of a man and his wife. There is no justification from the Bible or Christian tradition for sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage, and would even find its application in the so-called "loving, committed homosexual partnerships/unions."

With so clear a biblical principle that is divinely revealed and universally applicable, and since heterosexual monogamy was established by Creation and not by culture, there can be no true "liberation" from God's created order. True freedom is found only in accepting His Word on the matter, which begins in our thinking and becomes lived out in our resultant choices and lifestyle. While my lifestyle issues might take some time to mature into complete alignment with God's intended plan, my "thinking" changes at a much earlier point in time.

While there are those who would say, "Well, if we are all in process, then it would be the duty of heterosexual Christians to accept homosexuals who consider themselves Christ-followers until they come along to a biblical way of thinking. If God welcomes people 'just as they are'- then so should we!" Certainly, God accepts us 'just as we are,' and we do not have to make ourselves good first. God also fully and freely forgives all who repent and believe. Indeed, we should all accept one another as fellow "repenters" and fellow "people on a journey," but not as fellow sinners who are resolved to persist in sinning. God has always welcomed in order to redeem and transform us, not to leave us alone in our sins. There is no evidence in Scripture that acceptance is promised by either God or the Church if we harden our hearts and persist in our sin against His order or His word.

It is by faith that each and every believer accepts God's standards. God's standard is heterosexual marriage, or singleness and sexual abstinence. Our world teaches that sexual expression is absolutely essential to human fulfillment, and that to expect people with a homosexual orientation to abstain is to condemn them to frustration, and to drive them to despair. It's outrageous to ask them to deny themselves - it's inhuman and cruel. We must understand that while sex is a good gift of God, it is not essential to be a complete person. Who are we to believe...God, or the culture around us?

Change versus mature? No, not one or the other, but an application and balance of both. "When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me" - (1 Corinthians 13:11). As a Christian, my personal opinions, and even an intense battle with the flesh, must always take a back seat to who God is and what He has clearly stated. Acknowledging and often resting in the truth and reality that I will forever be in "process" until I either go home to be with Him or He comes back to get me.

In conclusion, we offer a quote from Martin Hallett, who wrote the book "I Am Learning to Love: A Personal Journey to Wholeness in Christ." It will, we believe, offer room for thought to each and every one of Christ's followers who are still "changing" and "maturing": "I have learnt; I am learning' I will learn to love God, other people and myself. This healing process will only be complete when I am with Jesus."

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries...

To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers...we remain truly grateful. His Way Out Ministries is proclaiming to, educating, and impacting the world with the biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus Christ is Lord of your life.

Please look for a full report and numerous photos of our trip to Guyana, South America in our September Newsletter.

Prayerfully Yours,

Pastor Phillip Lee

Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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Focus on the Family - "Love Won Out" Conference

Is "Love the sinner, hate the sin" your current response to homosexuality? Join Focus on the Family for the Love Won Out conference and learn how to compassionately and more effectively respond to homosexuality. Love Won Out is a dynamic one-day seminar that comprehensively addresses the issue of homosexuality, from its effects on family and friends to its impact on our schools and culture. Conference speakers are experts in the field of homosexuality and gender identity, and include former gays and lesbians. Join Focus on the Family at Southwest Community Church in Palm Springs, CA, on Saturday, September 23, 2006 from 8am to 5pm. The conference fee is $50 in advance and $60 for walk-up registration. To register, call 1-800-A-FAMILY or register online at LoveWonOut.com. Hurry! Seating is limited.

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"I Am Here to Serve" A Testimony by L.S.

I was born in the Netherlands. I have one older brother by two years. My natural father left the home when I was two and not under pleasant circumstances. My mother raised us until she met my stepfather when I was eight years old. So, for approximately six years (the formative years), I did not have a father image in my environment. For me, this was an important missing link as I developed through those years; especially, in my understanding of what a male was or to be. My family immigrated to the United States when I was eleven; two years after my mother and stepfather were married. We settled in Santa Monica, CA, near Los Angeles. It was my stepfather who arranged for us to have a new life and immigrate to the U.S.

In the U.S., we had a family restaurant where we all pitched in and worked. My brother and I did everything from scrubbing the kitchen floors and stove to cleaning bathrooms and washing the dishes. My brother developed other interests but I stayed and helped my parents, mostly my mother, so she would not be overworked during my teenage years. After ten years my parents sold the family business. My stepfather was very strict disciplinarian and controlling person.

I have been married twice and have two wonderful blessings from God; a daughter and a son from my second marriage. As a result of the end of my first marriage, I came to know Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. And, as I look back, thirty years later I realize and see that God has had His hand on my life all along.

I was not raised in church. My childhood was good life except for the lack of a positive male figure in the home. My older brother had everything I did not have (at least from my view point). He was handsome, athletic, and very independent. I always stayed home to help my mother from a strict authoritarian husband and always did what it took to keep the peace at home. My personality and nature developed to be a people pleaser and peacemaker in the family structure. This was mainly due to the fact that my stepfather was so strict and controlling that most of what was done at home and at the family restaurant had to be corrected. Never was anything done right the first time by his judgment.

My environment and my personality impacted the image of who I was. While I was growing up, I always looked around for approval of a male figure. I looked around at school and then in the workplace and wherever I went. Because of the low self-esteem, I was more comfortable around female friends. In my adult life, I pursued the normal male traits with college ending with a Bachelor of Science degree and a good job in aerospace. I also fell in love and married at twenty-six years old. When that marriage failed after one year, I, for the first time in my life ended up in church and became a Christian. Two years later, I married again but that marriage also failed. It seemed my life was over. But my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ began to show me and help me understand who I am and how my same-gender attraction characteristics developed.

Always knowing that my same-gender feelings were not right, I have never acted on them. Battling the temptation within myself, falling down, picking myself up - and every time feeling my loving Father's arms there to carry me one. The "battle" as I call it, has I believe made me the man I am today. One that has compassion for those hurting, understanding for those with addictions, and awareness that we are all traveling on a road that will lead us to our Heavenly Father. But as on any road, there are road blocks, potholes, storms and breakdowns.

My loving Father placed people around me who accepted me and encouraged me. Over the last seventeen years since my second divorce, I have been searching; becoming more aware of myself, my need, my hunger, my pain, my being. There have been several men placed in my life who have guided me through to understand where I am and that I am not much different than anyone else who has a lust or an addiction. I always wondered. Am I homosexual? How did this happen? Where did these feelings come from? Because I knew the feelings were wrong, as I said before, I know that God in His Word is very clear on the subject of homosexuality.

It was about five years ago, a fellow believer encouraged me to attend a Christian conference dealing with the issues of same-gender attraction. The conference led me to His Way Out Ministries and to finally understand myself much better. To realize that I am perfect in His image and He fully accepts me. Ultimately, I am here to serve Him.

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Coming Up This Month!

August 5th - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times). If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality...this group is for you. L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am.

August 12th and 26th - "Time Out" - A discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am is available to men struggling with same-gender attraction.

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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
  • Ask your pastor to check out this website.

  • Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.

  • Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.

  • Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.

  • Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.

  • Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.

  • Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.

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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.

This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.

The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.

Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.

We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine

Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov

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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.

We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.

Canned tuna Canned soups
Canned ravioli Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Jams and jellies Breakfast cereals
Breakfast bars Fruit cocktail
Canned peaches Top Ramen
Cup o' Noodle soups Canned potatoes
Canned corn Macaroni and cheese mixes
Rice 'o Roni type mixes Chili beans
Tomato paste, Tomato sauce Spaghetti sauce
Potted meats Canned stews
Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped Instant oatmeal variety packs
Kleenex Paper towels
Toilet paper Popsicles (not frozen)
Instant breakfast drinks Spaghetti

His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.

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His Way Out Ministries Services

  • Consultations
  • Family Support Group
  • Individual Prayer Ministry
  • "Time Out" Discipleship Series
  • Ministry Support Network
  • Speakers available to address Christian groups
  • "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
  • "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS

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Send a Donation to His Way Out

In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.

Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.

His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with Exodus International.

You can donate using PayPal...

Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)

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