Welcome to His Way Out Ministries

November 2005 Highlights

Change! By Carol Wagstaff and Phillip Lee

The Oxford American Dictionary defines change as to make or become different; to pass from one form or phase into another. Certainly, for any individual the greatest change is to become a Christian and know that your destination has been changed from hell to heaven; to become born-again.

While Scripture and an abundance of secular literature provide evidence that homosexuality, though deeply ingrained and even habitually practiced, can be overcome both as a lifestyle and as an identity, many seem to still differ, object, and require an explanation of what it means for a homosexual to change.

To be sure, in the world of men and women that struggle with same-gender attraction and those that love them, the word "change" is a hot button. Often, individuals who are normally mild mannered and passive become red-faced and belligerent at the mere mention that change might be possible. Maybe you've noticed. Heated arguments erupt when this issue is brought up.

However, the question "can homosexuals really change?" is a fair and monumentally important question. Based on our ministry experience, each person seeking to overcome homosexuality is different. The men and women that have exited homosexuality span a wide variety of ages, personalities, occupations, nationalities, and church denominations. Some of these men and women have been free from any form of homosexual involvement for ten or twenty years. And, they are not just suppressing their strong homosexual or lesbian longings. There has been a true resolution of this issue in their lives.

Often, caught in the middle of the emotional conflict regarding change is the person who struggles with unwanted same-gender attractions. To him, (and we use the pronoun generically for both men and women) the issue of change is more than just an issue of emotional debate. It strikes at the very core of his being...either bringing hope or despair.

Certainly, there is no identical plan of action for healing, restoration, deliverance, no quick fix or one-two-three formula. Many seeking freedom from unwanted same-gender attractions have found all the help they needed through their local church. Others have found support through a local ex-gay ministry which offered spiritual guidance and frequent fellowship support groups. Still other men and women (those with deeply rooted symptoms needing professional expertise) have sought additional private psychological therapy. Having been around the phenomenon of change for quite some time, we are convinced that much of the conflict regarding homosexuality and change comes from a misunderstanding of the meaning of change.

Redemptive changes occur in all of us as human beings and are precipitated by many things...God's timing, our desires, our commitment to God and the healing, restoration process, our past involvement in sinful behavior, and what it was that pushed us toward that particular sin in the first place. With homosexuality, it is no different. The contributing factors to a person having an issue with same-gender attraction are numerous and complex. However, that does not minimize God's power and sovereignty, nor does it change the undeniable biblical evidence that God can change the life of a person involved in homosexuality. Homosexuals have been experiencing change since the Bible was written (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

Yes, change occurs within a process; a process that takes time. Spiritual growth is a lifelong process. Working through character faults and past hurts, immaturity's and insecurities is a long process for everyone, not just the recovering homosexual or lesbian. What is that process? What are some of the battles they will undoubtedly have to face?

There must be an admittance that I need to change. It's pretty tough to admit that I need to change, especially if I have had same-gender desires for as long as I can remember, and they feel natural. To admit that I need to change is to say there is something wrong with the way I am or the way that I live. That's a pretty tough pill to swallow because it hurts our ego. However, admitting that I need help is a brave first step. Change is a cooperative venture between God and ourselves through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Leaving homosexuality is something like submitting to major spiritual surgery. Identity becomes in absolute turmoil. That should not be so surprising since anytime we make a change in our behavior, it is usually because the pain involved in that behavior outweighs the pleasure. Maybe you've noticed? While we know intellectually we must make a change, our feelings don't necessarily follow. Men and women that say good-bye to homosexuality or lesbianism, experience grief, disorientation, and confusion. Anytime we lose something or someone important to us, the loss registers deep within our being. Not surprising, the loss impacts our life and we grieve. For people coming out of homosexuality the loss can be multifaceted: an identity, possibly a partner, a secure living situation, etc. The change is often dramatic and the grief, disorientation and, sometimes confusion that follows, can be devastating.

Exposing the roots and opening old wounds can be costly. Why study or explore the root(s) of brokenness? In terms of homosexuality, understanding homosexual development points the way to true resolution. The changing of any behavior necessitates retracing the steps that have brought us to this point. Looking at family dynamics, painful childhood experiences, physical or sexual abuse, peer pressure, temperament and interests, societal influences, all can play a part in shaping a persons sexual orientation. If I desire to understand how I arrived at this point, I must delve into my life, examining the path I have taken and what might have robbed me of a healthy heterosexual identity. Identifying painful situations and working through them is part of the process.

Being totally committed to the will of God. Why do some people make it out of homosexuality while others don't? One common denominator among those men and women that have experienced significant change involves the issue of surrender and control in their lives. Nothing short of total commitment to the will of God (despite feelings, emotions, hormones, temptations, etc.) will hold a homosexual to the discipline needed for the change process. Ultimately, the Lordship of Christ and the Authority of Scripture must prevail in all circumstances and take priority regardless of what I think or feel. Sexual sin is very insidious. At its core, it is a need to be loved...to be held and treasured. But like so many of Satan's tricks, sex becomes the cheap substitute - the means to an end. Commitment to God's will necessitates death - a death to self - a death to "what I want when I want it" and giving over to what God wants for me. It is putting God on the throne instead of self.

There is a cost to "change." Ultimately, a person's freedom or deliverance from homosexuality comes from a Person, rather than a method. Ironically, the interesting thing about the change process is that change itself is not the goal. Change of any type or to any degree will only occur when that person pursues a far more compelling goal and focus. Freedom, change, healing, restoration only occurs when we look upward to Jesus and are purposed to enter more deeply into fellowship with Him.

Right now, there are men and women at all levels of change. Once again, all Christians face the decision of accepting or rejecting Christ's Lordship. As our Creator, God is the only one who knows exactly how to restore us and bring about change. To those that have made the journey out of homosexuality and those that are in process...we applaud their courage and the ground they have gained. You chose the high calling of God. Therefore, "He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).

From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries...

Have a Safe and Blessed Thanksgiving!

Prayerfully Yours,

Pastor Phillip Lee

Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries

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Notes from His Way Out Ministries Supporters...

His Way Out Ministries has taught me so much about freedom in Christ. I have taken what I have learned and shared it with many friends. Thanks for making such a difference in my life...Susan

We are blessed to partner with you in life, prayer and service. May His great work of healing, restoration and renewal continually be upon your lips...Randy and Kim

Thank you for all the work that you do in reaching hurting people for Christ and in teaching everyone around you about what it is to be discipled...Jolene

Thank you so much for coming to our church recently. Many, many people shared how much they enjoyed it and how God's truth was so clear...Becky

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Off to Guyana!

In last month's newsletter, we shared a truly significant advancement in His Way Out Ministries becoming a permanent presence in Guyana, South America. Since our last trip to Guyana, which was this past August, our ministry and a local Guyanese ministry called Operation Restoration, have entered into and established a ministry partnership designed to reach those bound by homosexuality in Guyana. As a result, on November 6th, Pastor Phillip will be returning to Guyana to continue teachings on freedom from homosexuality, demonstrate (by example) how to facilitate support groups, supply materials for ex-gay ministry, and come along side of our Guyanese brothers and sisters in Christ to further cement the various and numerous details of our ministry. To date, the ministry partnership between Operation Restoration (OR) and His Way Out Ministries (HWOM), provides the only ex-gay ministry in the entire nation of Guyana. For some time, OR and HWOM have been acutely aware of numerous individuals and families that have desired specific ministry to help them not only understand the complexities of homosexuality, but more importantly, provide a safe haven and spiritual counseling to break free of the snare of same-gender attraction and related issues. Therefore, your prayers for our upcoming departure on November 6th, and until HWOM returns to the States on November 17th, would be greatly appreciated.

To those of you that have given to this our most recent outreach in Guyana...we remain truly grateful. May God richly bless you!

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Coming Up This Month!

November 5th - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times). If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality, or you just want to learn about the complexities of homosexuality...this group is for you! L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am.

November 6th - Pastor Phillip Lee departs for Guyana, South America.

November 12th - There will be no "Time Out" meeting due to Pastor Phillip being in Guyana.

November 21st - Pastor Phillip Lee back in the office from Guyana.

November 26th - "Time Out" - A discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am is available for men struggling with same-gender attraction.

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Prayer Requests

Please pray for the His Way Out Ministries missionary trip to Guyana, South America (November 6 - 17, 2005) and the ministry partnership between Operation Restoration and His Way Out.

Please pray for the participants at our L.I.F.E. (parents, spouses, siblings, and friends) and Time Out (men's group) support groups.

Please pray for Darren Thompson who is currently in Toronto, Canada training with Exodus Global Alliance to go overseas.

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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
  • Ask your pastor to check out this website.

  • Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.

  • Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.

  • Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.

  • Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.

  • Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.

  • Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.

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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.

This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.

The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.

Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.

We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine

Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov

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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.

We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.

Canned tuna Canned soups
Canned ravioli Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Hamburger Helper Peanut butter
Jams and jellies Breakfast cereals
Breakfast bars Fruit cocktail
Canned peaches Top Ramen
Cup o' Noodle soups Canned potatoes
Canned corn Macaroni and cheese mixes
Rice 'o Roni type mixes Chili beans
Tomato paste, Tomato sauce Spaghetti sauce
Potted meats Canned stews
Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped Instant oatmeal variety packs
Kleenex Paper towels
Toilet paper Popsicles (not frozen)
Instant breakfast drinks Spaghetti

His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.

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His Way Out Ministries Services

  • Consultations
  • Family Support Group
  • Individual Prayer Ministry
  • "Time Out" Discipleship Series
  • Ministry Support Network
  • Speakers available to address Christian groups
  • "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
  • "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS

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Send a Donation to His Way Out

In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.

Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.

His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with Exodus International.

You can donate using PayPal...

Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)

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