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Welcome to His Way Out Ministries
March 2005 Highlights
- God didn't call me to success. He called me to obedience. by Pastor Phillip Lee
- Reaching Gay Youth by Darren Thompson
- Update on Canyon Hills Assembly of God Training Session
- Coming Up in March!
- How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
- Now on DVD: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
- IT'S ABOUT LIFE: Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
- His Way Out Ministries Services
- Send a Donation to His Way Out Ministries
God didn't call me to success. He called me to obedience. by Pastor Phillip Lee
For far too many, sexual and relational brokenness has meant shame, hiding, masks, and deception. Some even take pride in the ability to keep things under wraps, to keep feelings hidden, to go it alone. All of this allows and enables a person to remain in denial. It enables many to convince themselves that they will never have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Unbelievably, it even leads some into believing there is no such thing as consequences.
Maybe you've noticed. The truth can only be kept at bay for so long. The time finally arrives when we can no longer hide the destructiveness of our lifestyle from others and ourselves. For many, we were being hurt and we were hurting others...often in the name of love. Hiding only increases isolation while destroying self-esteem. Ultimately, we realized that the secrets we were keeping were keeping us from the freedom we had at last recognized we must find.
What we need, if we are to recover, is unconditional love. Often, our duplicity made receiving such love impossible. To know that kind of love, we have to reveal ourselves...warts and all...to God, to ourselves, and to others. Confession is the key that turns the lock that keeps us isolated and vulnerable to sexual addiction or any form of brokenness. When you and I take a "step by step moral inventory" of ourselves, we will find things we need to confess. We must always begin with God because He is love and has promised to forgive and cleanse all who confess to Him. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
Our acceptance of God's forgiveness empowers us to face ourselves in a new way. Knowing His forgiveness enables us to forgive others. Knowing His acceptance enables us to accept ourselves.
Now, all of that prepares us for a full and honest confession to another human being. This is vital if we are to break the patterns of dishonesty and isolation that have kept us from what we have craved all along. That unconditional love and acceptance which can only come from one who knows all that we are and have done.
The person to whom we make such a confession must be carefully chosen. Confession builds incredible intimacy, which is an important and vital part of recovery. A word to the wise: never make your confession to someone to whom you are sexually attracted.
Confession is not an "X-rated" recounting of every sordid detail of your sexual misconduct, but rather, an honest facing of character defects which had made you defenseless against your lusts. Confession is not a "blame game." Nobody wins in the blame game. While our struggles came to us a result of things that happened in our childhood, we are responsible for our responses to these things as adults. Confession means facing our own faults...not those of others.
Many, many years ago, at the very beginning of my discipleship, I hit a major wall. The wall had a definite name - Loneliness! Not truly desiring to face and deal with the underlying factors that was causing the loneliness; I contacted my pastor and began to share my grief. Really...I just wanted to whine! You know, the "Oh, poor me syndrome." My pastor requested that I meet him at the church for a more personal face to face conversation. I agreed. I arrived at the church before my pastor and positioned myself for my tale of woes. Eventually, I heard my pastor pull in the church parking lot and he immediately proceeded to the sanctuary where I was sitting. He had no sooner stepped inside when out came the words, "Now, if you've got one good reason, I'm here to listen, but do not give me one excuse!"
I still hear those words today. They were extremely authoritative and delivered with great volume. I was stunned and couldn't utter a word. After a few moments of silence and collecting my emotions, I realized that my pastor had told me exactly what I needed to know, but not necessarily what I wanted to hear. His words snapped me right into reality. You see, I had been giving my greater attention and energy to being successful rather than being obedient.
C.S. Lewis once wrote, "No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep picking ourselves up each time. We will, of course, be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home, but the bathrooms are ready, the towels put out and the clean clothes are waiting. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give up. It is when we notice the dirt, that God is present in us...it is the very sign of His presence."
The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:11, "You were sanctified," or better translated, "are being sanctified." Sanctification is that process where sin's power is broken and we are separated unto God, enabling us to come into the wholeness Jesus promises.
Too often, when we think of salvation, we think of it in our initial choice to follow Jesus. But rarely do we view our salvation as a process, which entails many choices and a string of deliverances. Healing or arriving at a place of wholeness does not nor has it ever meant an absence of struggle. Our humanity, out of which our sexuality flows, will continue to bear the marks of the fallen age. But that does not minimize God's power. Experiencing temptation, feeling irrationally threatened, acknowledging the need for on-going accountability, simply places us in a dynamic process of becoming whole.
For example, while God was helping me deal with homosexual sin, miraculously, I was spared the painful recognition of my broken masculinity, which was undergirding my sinful behavior. As I learned what it meant to be a man, and more importantly, a godly man, my masculinity began to be healed. The Lord revealed broken and hurtful aspects of how I related to family, friends, and people in general. God is faithful to reveal what needs to be healed. He does so in light of how much we can handle at once. And, He always blesses obedience.
It's not enough to experience victory in sexual struggles. You might be saying, "It's not...why?" Because the victory will be very short lived if we don't understand the specific characteristic of God on which that victory is built. God wants us to know Him and trust His character, not just to use Him as a means to escape having to take responsibility for our choices. A final thought...
To say that Christian love is unconditional is not to say that it does not encourage the one loved to do what is right. It is to say that Christian love continues even when that person fails to do what is right.
God, help us to be encouraging rather than demanding. In doing so, may we understand that obedience, not success, is your will and desire.
From All of Us at His Way Out Ministries....
To each of you who continually bless us by your encouragement, ministry participation, monthly financial support, offerings, and prayers...we remain truly grateful. His Way Out Ministries is proclaiming to, educating and impacting the world with the biblical truth that freedom from homosexuality is possible when Jesus Christ is Lord of your life.
Gratefully Redeemed,
Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
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Reaching Gay Youth by Darren Thompson
Establish a relationship of trust. Successful ministry is the result of persevering until a relationship has stabilized. The teen needs to know that what is shared between the two of you will remain private. Maybe the individual will want to turn to you time after time. Provide a safe atmosphere where he/she can share openly with you. Dialogue does not necessitate a debate or an attempt to force your beliefs on those who disagree with you. Other effective approaches that adolescents prefer according to Dr. H. Norman Wright in his book, Crisis & Trauma Counseling, include: allowance to talk, showing warmth and acceptance, listening well, respecting my privacy and showing patience. Sometimes Christians are misled into spreading gossip under the guise of sharing a prayer concern with others. Keep what's shared with you confidential.
Don't jump to conclusions. One of the greatest tendencies when trying to help someone is to jump to conclusions. Be quick to listen says James. Base your suggestions on what is shared not on preconceived rumors/misconceptions. Hear what they are saying. You cannot help the person unless you know what the root problem is. Ask questions and get clarification when there is missing information. Be direct and pose questions with some sense of your understanding where they are coming from. For example, "I know you said that you feel different around other boys, can you better explain what different means to you?" If the youth chooses not to answer, that is within their boundaries. It is better to suggest nothing than your assuming or guessing answers.
Darren Thompson
Associate Director
His Way Out Ministries
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Update on Canyon Hills Assembly of God Training Session
On January 22, 2005, His Way Out Ministries was invited by Canyon Hills Assembly of God to equip and mobilize the saints to share the Gospel with those involved in or struggling with homosexuality. With about 100 in attendance, we had a great occasion to share from personal experience and teach from God's Word, science, et al. What made the training session extra special, was the large number of those actively involved in homosexuality that attended the entire day's teaching. While many of them remained outside in protest of what we were proclaiming‹freedom from homosexuality-many others joined our meetings and asked questions. In addition, local television crews came for interviews and to film our teachings. The Lord gave us grace in handling the mixed group and we trust God for future "divine appointments" for those equipped for ministry and for more seeds to be planted and watered in the hearts of those who came to picket. Please be in prayer with us for protection and provision, as there are other invitations pending for effective work in and outside of Kern County.
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Coming Up In March!
March 3rd - His Way Out Ministries will be presenting a ministry update at the Assemblies of God Ministers Council Meeting, held at First Assembly of God, Bakersfield, CA.
March 5th - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times). On March 5th, we will continue our teaching series titled "There's Something I Need to Tell You!" (When a Loved One Confesses They're Homosexual). If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality, or you just want to learn about the complexities of homosexuality...this group is for you! L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am.
March 6th - Darren Thompson and John Gonzales will be sharing teaching and testimony at Great Beginnings Church (Youth Group), 4201 University Avenue, Bakersfield, CA, beginning at 6PM.
March 9th - Darren Thompson and John Gonzales will be sharing teaching and testimony at St. John's Lutheran Church (Youth Group), 4500 Buena Vista Rd, Bakersfield, CA, beginning at 7PM.
March 11th & 12th - Christian Ministry Convention - "Loving the City Together"- Bakersfield, CA
On Saturday, March 12th, Pastor Phillip will be teaching two workshops: Homosexuality and the Reality of Change and There's Something I Need to Tell You. For more information regarding the convention, please contact the Olive Drive Church at (661) 393-8210 or the Christian Ministry Convention at (661) 325-6967.
March 12th - "Time Out"- (Bakersfield) Time Out is a discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am and is available to men struggling with same-gender attraction.
March 12th - "Time Out" - (Lancaster) - Begins Today! Time Out in Lancaster will meet on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am. Meetings will be held at Grace Chapel, 44648 15th Street West in Lancaster and facilitated by Pastor Pat Tanner, Assistant Pastor of Grace Chapel and Louis Steers, Advisory Board Member of HWOM. Time Out is a discipleship support group series for men desiring to come out of homosexuality.
March 26 - "Time Out" - (Bakersfield) Time Out is a discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am and is available to men struggling with same-gender attraction.
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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
- Ask your pastor to check out this website.
- Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.
- Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.
- Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.
- Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.
- Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.
- Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.
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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.
This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.
The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.
Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.
We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine
Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov
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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.
We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.
| Canned tuna | Canned soups |
| Canned ravioli | Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Jams and jellies | Breakfast cereals |
| Breakfast bars | Fruit cocktail |
| Canned peaches | Top Ramen |
| Cup o' Noodle soups | Canned potatoes |
| Canned corn | Macaroni and cheese mixes |
| Rice 'o Roni type mixes | Chili beans |
| Tomato paste, Tomato sauce | Spaghetti sauce |
| Potted meats | Canned stews |
| Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped | Instant oatmeal variety packs |
| Kleenex | Paper towels |
| Toilet paper | Popsicles (not frozen) |
| Instant breakfast drinks | Spaghetti |
His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.
His Way Out Ministries Services
- Consultations
- Family Support Group
- Individual Prayer Ministry
- "Time Out" Discipleship Series
- Ministry Support Network
- Speakers available to address Christian groups
- "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
- "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
Send a Donation to His Way Out
In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.
Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.
His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with Exodus International.
| You can donate using PayPal... |
Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
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