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Welcome to His Way Out Ministries
February 2005 Highlights
- Was it what happened, or what didn't happen? by Pastor Phillip Lee
- Time Out in Lancaster, CA
- Reaching Gay Youth by Darren Thompson
- Coming Up in February!
- How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
- Now on DVD: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
- IT'S ABOUT LIFE: Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
- His Way Out Ministries Services
- Send a Donation to His Way Out Ministries
Was it what happened, or what didn't happen? by Pastor Phillip Lee
I am convinced that the simple affirmation God is love is truly the key to everything. If you and I can find and live this truth, and not just recite it or print it out to hang on our walls, we may just find both the power to combat evil and a place of refuge in the midst of any number of struggles.
Years of study and experience have clearly taught me that regardless how much doctrine I may know, until I have a clear picture and heartfelt sense that God is truly gracious and good, there will never be any lasting victory in my life.
Looking back, it was more than difficult to believe that God fully accepted me when my conscience told me otherwise. I cannot begin to tell you that the Scriptures which spoke about judgment all applied to me, and the ones that spoke of mercy...well, they were for someone else. Numerous personal experiences in my life taught me that people only loved you as long as you pleased them. Therefore, did God really love me inspite of all that I had done and been? You know, when people turn away it makes it difficult for a person to believe that God's arms are open to receive you.
It was the Holy Spirit that helped me see that the Scriptures that speak of judgment are directed at the stiff-necked sinner and not the one who is struggling with sin. As well, I came to understand that God's promises of mercy are to all that trust in Christ and I was challenged to accept them by simple faith. The more I developed my intimate relationship with Jesus, the more my fears subsided, and, in their place, peace and confidence grew. Incredibly, there were two friends (of the old life) who did not desert me. Thankfully, there were new friends who, knowing all, still loved and accepted me. Trust me, their friendship, love, encouragement and support, provided tangible proof of God's love. So, my faith grew.
I cannot count the numerous times that I have read, studied, revisited, meditated upon, etc. the various and numerous contributing factors to a person having an issue of same-gender attraction. Recently, during a phone conversation with a friend, I was asked..."Was it what happened to you that caused a struggle with homosexuality, or what didn't happen?" Bingo!
While many of us (men and women that have come out of homosexuality) felt we were victims...if we or anyone stops right there and refuses to see a thread of grace running through a myriad of sufferings, we just end up being victims who have no hope. Whatever may have happened or did not happen in our lives and as long as we blame others or the circumstances of life over which we did not have any control, we will remain trapped and unable to do anything to bring about change in our lives. For anyone to find freedom from homosexuality, an undermining of feelings and a letting go of what did or did not happen must occur. Ultimately, the person begins to see God as a loving Father whose unbelievable grace can bring blessing out of all that has been missed or suffered.
Has all of the study, meditation, surrender, introspection, questions, been worth it? You bet 'cha. As I have claimed and continue to claim, God is for me in every circumstance of life because of His blood and His righteousness. Solid peace and joy have driven away the old depressions that were at times incredibly crippling. By accepting the truth that God will never abandon me because Christ has endured all the wrath that I deserve, I know that I am never alone when temptation strikes. Why did Jesus have to suffer all of the shame, torment and humiliation of the Cross? He did so, so that I would not have too.
Today, many people are seeking deliverance from a multitude of issues, wounds, addictions, behaviors, etc. I constantly hear...I want to be free from this thing! While I can personally appreciate their desire, I find overwhelmingly that many people (Christians) do not have a clear understanding of what deliverance means or entails. Even when God powerfully and dramatically removes that it off of a person and enables them to come back to their senses, the individual still has a lot of work and application to accomplish. Deliverance does not solve relationship problems, it does not bring about any character development, it does not renew a person's mind, and it cannot take the place of an intimate relationship with God. Deliverance performs one necessary and vital function...it removes a negative influence from the person's life, aiding and enabling the person to continue, unhindered, with the normal processes of Christian growth. Doesn't it make perfect sense that we do not arrive at our broken places in life overnight and therefore, our issues are not going to be resolved overnight?
Currently, in our men's support group called Time Out, we are using Mike Evan's book entitled Why Not Waste Time With God? as a guide for study and discussion. From beginning to end, the emphasis is on developing an intimate relationship, hanging out with, doing nothing but listening, and enjoying God's presence. Frankly, I have personally experienced a breath of fresh air and the men in our support group are loving it. Mike shares...If we cannot accept ourselves in both our strengths and weaknesses, we cannot accept that we are of value to God. The words are so true because we are all in process of becoming more like Christ and therefore we should rest in the truth and reality that ultimately God is responsible for our spiritual growth. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).
You know, life is not just a struggle for the one struggling with homosexuality. It's a struggle for everyone, and no one meets all of life's challenges flawlessly. It's important to remember that God does bring good out of trouble. Otherwise sorrow will swallow us up and give place to temptation. Homosexuality took my self-respect and gave me guilt, took my honor and gave me shame, took my honesty and gave me a double life, took gentleness and made me a deceiving, angry man. However, out of all of that stuff, came a close walk with God, freedom, strength and vulnerability, the ability to help others, and maybe, just maybe, the beginning of wisdom. It's been worthwhile. Was it what happened or what didn't happen? No doubt, a measure of both.
In Closing...
As you know, His Way Out Ministries is one of the very few places people can go for sensitive help regarding same-gender attraction and related issues. Our country and the world is in dire need of our focus of ministry. With the gay marriage issue constantly in the media, with the standards of right and wrong constantly changing, we are but a small voice in the midst of many loud voices. But we speak with God's message, and we must continue to serve our brothers, sisters and families who cry out for help. If you have not been supporting His Way Out Ministries monthly, won't you please consider it? There is so much more we could do. It takes money and much could be accomplished if we all gave a little.
Gratefully Redeemed,
Pastor Phillip Lee
Executive Director
His Way Out Ministries
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Time Out in Lancaster, CA
His Way Out Ministries is very pleased to announce an advancement in our outreach and ministry partnership network. Beginning Saturday, March 12th, Grace Chapel, located in Lancaster, CA will begin our Time Out Discipleship Support Group series for men desiring to come out of homosexuality. Time Out in Lancaster will meet on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am and will be facilitated by Pastor Pat Tanner, Assistant Pastor of Grace Chapel and Louis Steers, an Advisory Board Member of HWOM. For further information please contact Pastor Tanner at...
Grace Chapel
44648 15th Street West
Lancaster, CA 93534
(661) 948-0855, Ext. 107
Email: Pat Tanner
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Reaching Gay Youth by Darren Thompson
What to look for. Homosexuality is a symptom of a spiritual and relational problem. Therefore, simply stopping the behavior is not really getting to the root of what is making that person "feel different." Common pitfalls for youth involved in or trying to stop their involvement in homosexuality include fear, envy, critical attitudes and isolation.
For the person that is trying to minister to a gay youth, ask yourself these questions about the youth: Does the young person experience a lot of rejection by others? Is there discomfort with their own gender? Does he/she spurn others of the same-sex, refusing to hang-out with anyone other than a gay friend? Is she overly critical or fearful of men? Does the young person appear to be afraid of many things including meeting new people, attending social gatherings, etc.? Is the teen envious of certain characteristics others of the same sex have that they don't?
Often times a cycle of envy is at the root of same sex attraction. For example, many pre-homosexual young men claim that they were never very athletic or fit in with other boys. Many opted to or were genuinely interested in activities that included a lot of creativity and academics. While, obviously, art, music, reading, imagination are great interests for anyone, however, by virtue of these interests, the young person or child may require a lot of time in isolation. As a result, that young person sets themselves apart from the same-sex bonding that is normally necessary to build-up confidence and camaraderie with their own gender. That lack of self-confidence and insecurity usually later develops into envy of those who are stronger, taller or very comfortable with themselves, attributes that they feel they lack. Furthermore, because the pre-homosexual child may not have developed the same interests, they later can't connect with others of the same-sex. It becomes a vicious cycle of "feeling different" while being greatly physically attracted to those that they feel they do not measure up to. Although anatomically the same, in a pre-homosexual child's mind, they are in many respects opposite of their same sex counterparts. In this regard, opposites do attract.
James wrote, "For where you find envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice" (3:16). Envy always leaves the envious person feeling incomplete and jealous. It is important to advise the person not to continually compare themselves with others. Also they need to know their worth in God's sight. In other words, the solution to a spiritual and relational problem requires a spiritual (embracing God's view of you and your identity in Christ) and relational (learning to face your fears and befriending those that intimidate you or appeal to you the most) solution. Be sure to provide lots of encouragement to the youth, that no matter what level of experimentation they have experienced, that they can turn and begin connecting with others of the same-sex and fit in. However, remember simply stopping homosexual behavior is not your ultimate purpose for intervening in the young person's life-there is much more that needs to be changed and learned.
Darren Thompson
Associate Director
His Way Out Ministries
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Coming Up In February!
February 5th - L.I.F.E. (Living in Fellowship...Even in Tough Times). If you have chosen to leave homosexuality, or you are a spouse, family member or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality, or you just want to learn about the complexities of homosexuality...this group is for you! On February 5th, we will continue our teaching series titled "There's Something I Need to Tell You!" (When a Loved One Confesses They're Homosexual). L.I.F.E. meets faithfully on the first Saturday of each month from 9am to 11am.
February 12th - Time Out...a discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am is available to men struggling with same-gender attraction. On February 12th we will turn our attention to: Most Christians are acquainted with doing things for God, rather than sitting with Him and doing nothing. Therefore, what are the benefits of being still and just listening to Him?
February 19th - HWOM Advisory Board" Meeting 9am to 11am at the HWOM office.
February 26th - Time Out...a discipleship support group which meets from 9am to 11am is available to men struggling with same-gender attraction. On February 26th we will turn our attention to: Many of us struggle with accepting ourselves and our flaws, and we assume that Jesus does not accept us either. Do you think God would have sent His only Son to die for us if we were not special?
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How You Can Help His Way Out Ministries
- Ask your pastor to check out this website.
- Encourage your pastor to consider hosting a seminar or inviting His Way Out Ministries to speak at your church.
- Ask your church to consider adding His Way Out Ministries to its missions budget.
- Add His Way Out Ministries to your prayer list.
- Tell your friends about His Way Out Ministries and encourage them to visit this web site.
- Give to His Way Out Ministries, either a special one-time gift or on a monthly basis.
- Show our teaching DVD or Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change" to your Sunday School class.
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Video: "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
Homosexuality and the Reality of Change presents a biblical perspective on the homosexual behavior with honesty and compassion. The 50 minute video contains information on: Can Homosexuals Really Change?, Will the Person Become Heterosexual?, How Long Does Change Take?, Exposing the Roots of Homosexuality, HIV and AIDS, Biblical and Scientific Evidence for Change, and much, much more.
This video is an excellent resource for teachers, churches, pastors, support group leaders, or anyone desiring a clear, comprehensive understanding of homosexuality.
The Good News of Jesus Christ and His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, His power to heal and restore has brought hope to many struggling with homosexuality. If you know someone struggling with same-gender attractions Homosexuality and the Reality of Change can help.
Videos are available on VHS or DVD at a cost of $20.00. To order your video...give us a call today.
We recently received, and watched, the video you sent us. It was excellent. We will be sharing it with other people at our church. One part that especially ministered to us was when Pastor Lee said from Philippians 1:6 that God is never going to give up His job of working in our life to conform us to the image of Christ. It helps makes sense of life's trials. Thank you for your ministry...Tom & Catherine
Preview "Homosexuality and the Reality of Change"
2min 38sec, 1.3MB, QT.mov
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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
AIDS profoundly impacts one's life whether that person has been infected by it or they are a family member or a friend of someone who has. The social stigmas, fears and especially the "aloneness" associated with AIDS makes it oppressive to live with. "IT'S ABOUT LIFE" is a crucial part of His Way Out Ministries. Because His Way Out Ministries is committed to compassionately communicating God's heart through a caring Christian community, His Way Out Ministries will be a receiving house for non-perishable food items. This will assist those with AIDS to maintain a balanced diet and good nutrition. Two major considerations in food donations for folks with AIDS are speed and ease of preparation. An appetite sometimes doesn't last long and the item has to be readily accessible and speedily prepared for the patient to be able to enjoy it.
We invite churches, companies, ministries, corporations, individuals, and the entire City of Bakersfield to join with us in caring. Offer your support by donating the below listed items.
| Canned tuna | Canned soups |
| Canned ravioli | Canned pasta products, e.g.Spaghettio's |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Hamburger Helper | Peanut butter |
| Jams and jellies | Breakfast cereals |
| Breakfast bars | Fruit cocktail |
| Canned peaches | Top Ramen |
| Cup o' Noodle soups | Canned potatoes |
| Canned corn | Macaroni and cheese mixes |
| Rice 'o Roni type mixes | Chili beans |
| Tomato paste, Tomato sauce | Spaghetti sauce |
| Potted meats | Canned stews |
| Instant potato mixes, e.g., scalloped | Instant oatmeal variety packs |
| Kleenex | Paper towels |
| Toilet paper | Popsicles (not frozen) |
| Instant breakfast drinks | Spaghetti |
His Way Out Ministries is located at Brimhall Road Assembly of God. Items will be distributed in cooperation with other outreaches in our community. This is a continuous, on-going ministry. For further information, please call 661-589-4262. God Bless You for your giving.
His Way Out Ministries Services
- Consultations
- Family Support Group
- Individual Prayer Ministry
- "Time Out" Discipleship Series
- Ministry Support Network
- Speakers available to address Christian groups
- "Moving On" Advanced/Closed Support Groups
- "It's About Life" Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS
Send a Donation to His Way Out
In your own church, and throughout this entire world, people are in need of God's clarity about their relationships and their sexuality. Participating in the work of H.W.O.M. is one way to acknowledge Christ's healing power for the sexually broken.
Through your financial support or volunteer involvement, you can add your voice to those who are speaking the truth of God with integrity.
His Way Out Ministries is a nonprofit, tax exempt Christian ministry associated with
Exodus International.
| You can donate using PayPal... |
Or send a contribution to:
His Way Out Ministries, 10700 Brimhall Road, Bakersfield, CA 93312
(Checks should be made payable to His Way Out Ministries)
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