• It Seemed That I Was Overlooked
• From The Pastor's Pen...
• Answering Pro-Gay Theology
• Just For Fun
• Prayer Concerns
• We have good reason to "Come Rejoicing"
• HWOM Calendar of Events
• His Way Out Ministries Services
• How You Can Help

It Seemed That I Was Overlooked by D.T.

The following testimony was given at the His Way Out Ministries Banquet on January 29, 2001

One of the purposes of my coming up here to speak tonight is to let you know what this ministry has meant to me in my own words. When Pastor Lee asked me to do this, the first thing I thought to myself was, do people really go up in front of a hundred strangers and tell their most intimate life story? Other than Pastor Lee, I have never seen anyone go up in front of this many people and talk about how God has in very private ways changed them. So I will start with the story of my first time coming to one of the men's group meetings.

I started out at His Way Out two years ago next month. I began meeting privately with Pastor Lee, and then after several months, I was asked to participate in the men's group meetings. It is what is called a "Time-Out" session and I wasn't sure if I was in the right place. I was nervous and uncertain what I was getting myself into. HWOM was located on White Lane then and we were in some sort of youth complex. I walked in this large room and there were a few men there and no women. One man was sitting down and several others were outside smoking. I thought they must be nervous like myself so that's why they were going through a few cigarettes. So I went in and sat down.

I asked the man sitting in front of me if he knew when Pastor Lee would show up. He turned around with a confused look. So I thought maybe he didn't know Pastor Lee by his last name since some people call him Pastor Phillip. (I even went through a period of time that I wasn't sure if his first name was Lee and last name, Phillip. Or vice versa.) In either case the man didn't know who I was talking about. So I set back in my chair, twiddled with my thumbs and figured it would start pretty soon.

After awhile of it not starting, I asked the guy what was going on. I didn't want to bother him again because I was thinking, you know he must already be dealing with homosexuality or pornography or adultery, some serious subject and I'm bugging him because I'm impatient. I remember, out of frustration though, him turning around and saying, "I don't want to violate confidentiality or anything, but son you're in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting." My first thought was yeah right; I'm an alcoholic too. Then it began to sink in - sure enough I was in the wrong room.

I start out with that story to hopefully lighten the mood, if not for you, then at least for me, because we really will be talking about some important issues. First, I want to give you some of my background. I'm 21 years old and I attend Cal State. I was born in Bakersfield and have lived here my entire life. Unfortunately, I still live with my parents at home, but we all have our crosses to bear. I have a brother who is 12 years older than me and a sister who is 8 years older. Another purpose of my coming up here, is to give you one example of how a person like myself, seemingly with no problems, might end up needing a ministry like His Way Out.

Within six months of my birth, both of my grandfathers died. My Grandma Ruby kind of took me under her wing and invested a lot of herself in me. She made sure to take my mom, my sister and I to church every Sunday. She is the number one person that I can credit my faith to.

During this time my Dad was starting his own business and didn't spend much time with the family or go to church. In fact, the problems were worse. He was abusive to all of us, especially my mom and my sister. I remember growing up knowing of his infidelities. In addition, my father was raised in a family where racism was normal. I knew as a child that what he did and thought wasn't good, and I recall consciously making a decision to separate myself from my Dad as much as possible. I continued to spend much time with my grandmas, sister and mom. My brother was always gone.

I grew up and attended a local Christian junior high school and was baptized at 13. My grandma passed away 4 days later. When I got into high school I pretty much stayed to myself. I was thrust into the Debate Team and by my senior year had made a lot of close friends. But, I didn't know how to maintain friendships so one by one they ended. When I went to college, I knew I had to join some sort of club to stay busy. So I did, and one thing led to another and after the first year I had two jobs and participated in various clubs. I had quickly exchanged relationships with my peers for work. It was also at this time that I became what I called, a monthly Christian, I went to church about once a month.

Monday through Friday I was always busy. But, just the same, I became more and more lonely, and on weekends I would just drive to different towns in Kern County to pass the time away. One day a couple of years ago I got word that Steve Forbes was coming to the CSUB Student Union. He was invited to be a speaker at the Bakersfield Business Conference and I wanted to get his autograph. I had already gone to the new Barnes and Noble Bookstore to get a copy of Forbes magazine, but they were sold out. But, in one of God's unexpected paths, I got an idea. I had recently traveled to Santa Monica to a convention, and I knew of what I thought was a 24-hour Barnes and Noble located there. I thought this would be a good adventure to spend on my Friday night.

Once I got down in LA, I got lost and I found Santa Monica Boulevard. I thought this would surely get me to Third Street Promenade where the bookstore was. However, I never found that bookstore. What I found was West Hollywood. I didn't know where I was at first, nor did I know what it was known for. Driving through, I quickly noticed that it was the epicenter of the LA gay community. My first reaction was actually to laugh because I had never seen men holding hands before. I became interested. I parked my car and got out. I briskly walked past the bars and along the Boulevard and then got back in my car and drove back to town.

You see, at that point, there was a part of my life I had never told one person about. Though I was sure I wanted to get married and have a family, I knew there were thoughts and feelings that weren't right. I had prayed to God countless times for Him to intercede and help me with what I knew was my problem. It seemed that I was overlooked. Though at times having friends, I had grown up during most of my life wanting to be around other boys and wanting to do the things that other boys did. But I was consistently scared and nervous to be around other men, and excluding my senior year in high school, my relationships with people had become more and more seldom.

If I wasn't alone, then I was always around women because they were who raised me and with whom I felt comfortable. So, when I had gotten out of my car that night, I was around men, men that paid attention to me as I would pass by, and accepted me as soon as they would initiate conversation with me. That was exactly what I had desired most of my life...attention and acceptance by men. It was for those reasons I was drawn to that environment for the next four months.

I said earlier, I believe this was a path created by God. Do you remember when Jesus was in the desert? Do you know who the Bible said led him to be tempted by Satan...It was the Holy Spirit. It was God's plan. Sometimes, God allows things to get worse before they can get better. Because only when prodigal sons like myself are in trouble will we really come running to Him for deliverance. That is my testimony.

While down in LA, I would just walk up and down the strip until someone would talk to me. It quickly became apparent that conversation wasn't the main goal of those who talked to me. I had moved to a whole new stage of brokenness. I was at a point that I would exchange anything for any sort of affirmation from men...even my innocence. I remember each trip back to Bakersfield. I was always full of such heart-wrenching sorrow. Each time I resolved to never go down there again, but my vow wasn't strong enough to prevent it. I didn't know how to fill this great void in my inner being. I didn't have a teacher and I didn't really have a support network that I would turn to.

I tried the best I could to maintain my regular duties at school and at my jobs. But, when the weekend hit, I became lonely and would inevitably go to LA to be around men. I would ask them all types of questions. You know what, they didn't have good answers. I quickly discovered those men didn't want to think about my questions, or just said that we must be a twist of nature. That response didn't fill me with much hope. I learned that those in destructive lifestyles were caught in an evil cycle. They were just going through life and trying to complete their daily activities and then because it is the only life they know, would spend it with each other in ways that God didn't design. But Jesus said, "I come that they may have life; and have it more abundantly." That was His plan for me.

While I was at my wit's end hating myself for doing over and over again what was not satisfying and unnatural to me, but still doing it because I believed I had nothing else to affirm me, God had a plan. He had a plan. I was a regular donor at a local blood bank. I would go there and give my pint or how ever much it is. I went one day during those long, four months.

On the questionnaire prior to your giving blood, it asks, have you ever participated in any of these sexual activities? It mentioned prostitution, homosexuality, and sex with certain foreigners. I admitted to the lady I had, but I had questions about it. I remember her saying to me, "I can't help you." She referred me to the Health Department. She said that I could never donate my blood again and for me to leave. So I did. I got up and started to the door. Before I got to the door, I completely lost my eyesight and ran smack into the door. The bells were ringing on the door and I fell down. I had fainted. I had never fainted in my life. I guess it was a couple of minutes before I woke up and the nurse was taking my blood pressure. All the nurses there must have thought they had taken a gallon of blood out of me, but no blood was taken.

Let me tell you, God knew from the very beginning that I would not fit into that lifestyle. He knew that as His child if I was burnt, He was going to be the one to heal my wounds. When I fainted two things happened. One, I got the picture that I was not in control of my life. Second, my fainting caused the nurse's heart to change. When I woke up, we went into another room, and she told me she would help me. A few days later, I got the phone number for His Way Out. It was a ministry I didn't know even existed. I called it and my life has not been the same since. You see, during those times I prayed as a young boy, I was heard. God did have a way out for me. I was going to get my questions answered. The truth was going to set me free.

God knew the perfect time when my heart was going to be soft and when my will was going to be obedient so He could put an end to this cycle. Jesus said, "Unless I cleanse you, you have no part with me." That is what He did and is doing. I want you to know that here at His Way Out, lives are being touched. My life was changed. Men and women like myself are free in a safe environment to ask whatever is on their heart. We finally get a godly response.

We learn that changing your circumstances and self-image is possible through right relationships. First, relationship with God through Christ. It is during prayer that you can meditate and have faith that truly you can do all things through Him that gives you strength. All things! When I read Scripture I can hear my Father's words affirming me. Second, it is through relationships with those who seek the Lord as we do. The reason I visited that life, certainly was because I didn't have a firm and steadfast relationship and understanding of Christ, but it was also because of one simple thing that every human is created to need...acceptance.

The truth is God is going to change our lives through other followers of Jesus Christ, the Church. Christians are directed to accept, encourage and edify each other. Jesus himself is "a people person." That is why Christianity is God's only way out of habitual behaviors like mine, because it is based on interaction with people who care, people who will pray for you and people who provide a sense of security and who will stay with you. That is what happens at His Way Out. That is what this ministry means to me in my own words.

Today my Dad has changed drastically. He attends Church, while before we would just pray for that. He hugs now. He actively asks questions about my life. He encourages me. He shows more respect to my mom. I have seen my Dad improve a lot.

This past weekend my brother got married in San Luis Obispo. He was not brought up in the Church, but now has undergone weeks of pre-marital Christian counseling and regularly attends church on the coast. You see, my Dad and brother are acts of God. All three of us have encountered the most powerful force in the universe, God's love. There is no other name under heaven that has come to help my family and myself, other than Christ.

Tonight, this room is full of individual testimonies of how God has changed your hearts to such a point that you would even come to a dinner expressing your support of a ministry like His Way Out. Today, Christ is alive and changing this world one life at a time.

Thank you and God Bless You.

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From The Pastor's Pen...

Answering Pro-Gay Theology

Just For Fun

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  
  
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  
  
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  
  
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
  
  
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  
  
• You can't have everything, where would you put it?
  
  
• I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
  

Prayer Concerns

• Teen Challenge, who will be providing housing for Guenter Bloempott, our intern from Germany.
• All those who joined us at the "We Come Rejoicing" Banquet.

• A vehicle for Guenter Bloempott, our intern from Germany, who will be coming in March/April.
• His guidance and wisdom as we continue to develop curriculum, support groups and leaders.

We have good reason to "Come Rejoicing"

• Approximately 25 Christian leaders around the community went through a 13-week Leadership Training course. The course is designed to equip these leaders for more effective ministry to the sexually and relationally broken. It gives needed answers and tools to those in leadership that can be used to bring about a hope and change to those in need, as well as a Biblical answer for a church grappling with these issues.
  
  
• Several of our volunteers have gone on to become teachers and support group leaders this past year.
  
  
• Support Groups include:
  
  
  • "Time Out", a 17 Step Discipleship Series
    
    
  • "Moving On" which are Advanced Level Support Groups for Ladies, and Adult Men and Women coming out of homosexuality and lesbianism.
    
    
  • "Family Support Group" which is assisting family members in making right choices for their children involved in homosexuality.
    
  
  
• Many men, woman and teenagers came in for individual and private prayer ministry and guidance.
  
  
• "It's About Life" Food Program continues to supply monthly food donations to those impacted by AIDS. This food comes from local churches that collect food and bring it HWOM to be delivered to those in need.
  
  
• His Way Out Ministries continues its involvement and support for "Sebastian House" which is a local home for those impacted with AIDS. When community support has been low for Sebastian House, HWOM has been a faithful friend to this effort, which has been acknowledged by the gay community. This and other areas of ministry have given the church a totally new face. A face of love and caring compassion to the homosexual community. I believe a face that more accurately represents the church than the one usually portrayed by the media.
  

• Classes continue for the 4th year at the Bakersfield Rescue Mission with the "Time Out" 17 Step Discipleship Series for sexual and relational brokenness there.
  
  
• His Way Out has also continues to minister to those incarcerated, specifically at the Lerdo facility in Shafter.
  
  
• Phillip has had the opportunity to preach and give his testimony at numerous churches of various denominations in the local area as well as teaching workshops at many conferences.
  
  
  • Redeemer Baptist Church in Monroe, MI (in partnership with Wholeness Ministries).
    
    
  • Conducted workshops in cooperation with Living Stones Ministries in Glendora, CA.
    
  
  
• In the summer, Phillip was contacted by Focus on the Family and asked to participate in a peaceful demonstration in Chicago with Exodus International Ministries at the American Psychiatric Association Convention there. It is interesting to note that this "unchangeable orientation of homosexuality" stand of the APA is now in dispute within the organization and that HWOM was able to lend a voice to God in the dispute.
  
  
• HWOM has continued it's involvement in the Kern County AIDS Advisory Board where it effectively represents the Christian voice in what is mainly a pro-homosexual organization. I must say, however, that their opinions of the Christian community have been challenged as they have seen the action of a body of believers bring the message of compassion and love of Christ to those who so desperately need it.
  
  
• In May, HWOM became a totally freestanding nonprofit Christian ministry
  
  
• In July, many of our leadership and Guenter Bloempott, our "soon to be" intern from Germany, were privileged to attend the Exodus conference in San Diego. There were approximately 1300 people from ex-gay ministries in attendance.
  
  
• In November, Nancy Schultz completed her first full year as ministry secretary, after replacing the great shoes of Sandy Moffett in January. Her job of keeping Phillip together and organized demands all our prayer and support. She has also been instrumental in developing HWOM ministry to women.
  

HWOM Calendar of Events

His Way Out Ministries Services

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IT'S ABOUT LIFE:
Food Ministry to Those Impacted by AIDS

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